Adoption: 'An awesome gift'
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PRINCETON — In their 40s with four older children, you might not expect Steve and Colleen Harmon to decide to open their hearts and home to a newborn baby. But they did.
While the Harmons thought they might be too old to adopt, they found out it’s not uncommon for people in their 40s to adopt a baby.
“We had enough space and resources for another child,” Steve said.
Colleen agreed with her husband.
“Another part, we’re very pro-life. We need a place for the children to go,” Colleen said.
The Harmons went through Catholic Charities for their adoption. They had considered doing a foreign adoption but when they compared the costs, it was nearly the same for them to adopt domestically. Also, the Catholic Charities do open adoptions, which means the birth mother (birth father ideally as well) is given profiles of different families and chooses the family for the baby. In the ideal situation, the goal is for the birth parent to have ongoing contact with the adopted family.
In looking at adoption, the Harmons also discovered if you are willing to take a mixed race child or one with special needs, you tend to get your adoption going faster.
The Harmons took their time with their paperwork, involved their four other children in the decision, and went through a lot of work with their case worker. They had family and home assessments done and then had to create a family portfolio once they were accepted.
Within two months of getting their portfolio submitted, the Harmons were selected for a child. Colleen attended a couple doctor appointments with the birth mother and was present at the birth of their adopted son.
When the baby, Christian, was 3 days old, the Harmons brought him home from the hospital. Bringing Christian home was a very big event, the Harmons said. He was grandbaby No. 17 for Steve’s mom.
“What’s neat was how the whole community embraces a child; almost immediately we couldn’t imagine being without Christian,” Steve said. “(He’s) an awesome gift. A lot of fun.”
Colleen said she’s enjoyed watching their other children with Christian.
“It’s been great to see our younger kids, sibling interaction. It didn’t seem any different than a biological child (coming home),” Colleen said.
You can see the love that Christian has for his brothers and sister. He plays football with his brother, Will, and enjoys being with his sister, Molly.
“We get along pretty good,” said Will, 13.
The Harmons take Christian to see his birth mom two to three times a year.
As part of the adoption process, Christian’s birth mom’s legal rights ended when he was 72 hours old when she signed his surrender papers. Christian then became a guardian of the agency until the adoption was final in the courts. For the Harmons, it was nine months, and they had representation from Catholic Charities and an attorney at the court.
Although they do not formally promote adoption, they do recommend it to people who ask about it. They work with a post-abortion clinic, and Colleen has taken a couple calls from people considering abortions, to whom she’s told her family’s story. Those people wound up calling Catholic Charities after talking with her.
“If people would like to do an adoption, they should pursue it and contact agencies,“ Steve said.
The Harmons encourage people to check into adoptions. There are older parents who have had children, and there are couples who cannot or don’t have children. There are domestic and foreign adoptions. There are different costs, each with variables depending on the agency. Some adoptions go faster than others, and there are many different adoption agencies.
More adoptions are now open adoptions, where the birth parents still see the child, and the adoptive parents can get in touch with the birth parents, especially if a genetic medical problem arises. Catholic Charities believe it’s better for the adopted child through an open adoption. Foreign adoptions tend to be closed, as they are usually older children or in orphanages.
As part of the adoption process, the Harmons also became licensed to do foster care, which is another potential way of adopting a child.
Would the Harmons adopt again? Yes, they would definitely consider it again in the future.
