Family ties
|
| Ginger Freeberg holds a six-inch file she’s collected on her research into her family, which includes newfound siblings. Raised as an only child, the Princeton woman learned four years ago that she actually has brothers and sisters who were given up at birth for adoption. The siblings got together in August at Freeberg’s home. (BCR photo/Donna Barker) |
PRINCETON — Four years ago as she lay on her deathbed, Elizabeth “Beth” Lampkin told her daughter, Ginger Freeberg of Princeton, that she had a secret to share with her.
Beth wanted Ginger to know she had a younger brother, whom Beth had given up at birth for adoption.
Ginger was understandably shocked at the news. She had been raised as an only child. Through the years, Ginger had no clues about a younger brother, no hints from her mother, no slips from extended family or friends.
But the secrets weren’t over. Later that night, when Ginger told her Aunt Linda (Beth’s sister) about what her mother had said, Aunt Linda wanted to know if Beth had also told Ginger about the other babies. What other babies, Ginger asked.
That story, about the other babies, was best told by Ginger’s mother, Aunt Linda said.
But the next day, after a nine-month battle with cancer, Ginger’s mother died at the age of 58. Ginger never had the chance to ask her mother about the other babies.
As it turned out, Aunt Linda knew quite a bit about Ginger’s younger brother. In fact, Aunt Linda had arranged for a private adoption of the baby boy and was actually the boy’s godmother. When Beth died, Aunt Linda contacted the adopted parents and told them of Beth’s death and that Ginger knew about her younger brother, Mark.
Years before, the adopted parents had told Mark about being adopted. After the phone call from Aunt Linda, the adopted parents decided to tell Mark about his birth mother, her death and about having a sister.
When he learned the news, Mark decided to contact Ginger and asked if he could come to his birth mother’s funeral. Later that day, Mark was sitting just a couple chairs down from Ginger at Beth’s funeral.
“When I saw Mark come in for the funeral, I looked across the room and saw him and I knew he was my mother’s son. He looks so much like her,” Ginger said.
On the day of their mother’s funeral, Ginger and Mark began a friendship, a life as sister and brother.
But Ginger could not forget there had been “other babies”. There were still more siblings out there. She didn’t know how many, but Ginger was determined to find them if she could. She didn’t want to disrupt anyone’s lives or cause anyone pain, but she had to know what she could about her siblings.
Ginger then began a four-year journey working with the Midwest Adoption Center, which is an agency of the Department of Children and Family Services, and with the Illinois Adoption Registry. She searched Web sites and filled out questionnaire after questionnaire. She kept her paperwork in a three-ring binder which is now hundreds of pages long and about six inches thick. Her brother Mark also helped in the search.
Hours upon hours, weeks upon weeks later, Ginger now knows she has four living siblings, Annalee, who lives in Kansas City, Kan., Derek of Rockford, Stephanie of LaSalle and, of course, Mark, who lives in Ottawa. A fifth sibling, another girl, is deceased, though Ginger doesn’t know when she died, whether as a child, teen or adult.
Ginger first made contact with Stephanie in November 2007, with Derek in January and with Annalee in May. The five siblings got together for the first time in August at Ginger’s home in Princeton.
“It was amazing,” Ginger said. “It was a lot of staring at each other’s face, looking for similarities, for any actions or habits that would tie us together.”
As it turned out, both Annalee and Mark look a lot like their birth mother and Stephanie has her birth mother’s personality, Ginger said. The five siblings range in age from 44 to 36, with Ginger being the second oldest.
Looking back at all the time and emotional energy spent on finding her siblings, contacting them and waiting to see if they wanted any relationship with her, Ginger said every moment has been well worth it.
In telling her story, Ginger hopes to encourage others to begin their own searches to find adopted family members, if that’s what they want. The search may be daunting, but not impossible, she said.
As she talked about her mother and her choices, Ginger’s love for her mother is obvious. The mother and daughter were close. Her mother did a very selfless thing when she gave up her babies for adoption, knowing she would not be able to provide for them, Ginger said.
“I feel bad for my mom for missing out on her children’s lives and I feel bad for my brothers and sisters because they missed out on knowing our mom,” Ginger said. “She was a wonderful person and a wonderful mom. She was my family. When she told me about my younger brother, it was like she was giving me back the gift of more family. And now I’ve gone from being an only child to having so many more people to love.”
Ginger said she’ll never know why she was kept by her mother, instead of being given up for adoption like her siblings were. But that’s in the past. Now, she can honor her mom by sharing her life and memory with her newfound brothers and sisters. Having a big family is wonderful thing, she said.
Comment on this story at www.bcrnews.com.
