Over the course of the next week, I will be taking on a challenge that is so terrifying that I have not been able to get a good night’s sleep for the past couple of months. An endeavor so daunting that I fear I might never be the same after it’s over. What is it that keeps me in such a nervous state you may be asking yourselves? Well I’ll tell you. I’m attending Ladies Night Out in Manlius this Thursday night.

You’re probably asking yourself, “Why would such a masculine, manly man who is practically overflowing with testosterone and unbridled machismo go to an event called ‘Ladies Night Out?’” The answer is simple – a nice lady named Peggy asked me.

I have no idea what happens at this event, and I’m still kind of foggy about why they would even want me there. At first, I thought they confused me with some sort of Chippendale dancer that would be providing entertainment for the evening. Looking in the mirror, I can see their confusion. My wife has assured me on countless occasions, that I am probably mistaken. Just to be on the safe side, I think I’ll take along my fireman outfit with suspenders and tear-away pants. They will have to supply the music for me to gyrate to. ( I suggest either some Motley Crue or Merle Haggard.)