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Unbiased journalism

When crafting a column for the newspaper, the writer should occasionally make an attempt to write about current events. The columnist should, in a way, try to take the pulse of the reader’s world and offer impartial, objective ideas for them to consider.

In the past, I have written primarily about relatively mundane things such as raccoons, yellow cotton gloves, smelly eggs, old sweat shirts and bar soap. I haven’t written too much about what’s happening in the world today and how those events can shape the lives of everyday people like you and me.

This past week, there were many interesting stories the American public followed. There were the continuing presidential campaign stories, new worries over Iranian nuclear capabilities, concern over new jobs and the United States economy. All of these topics were covered by all of the major media outlets throughout this country. These would all be good topics for a top-notch columnist to write about.

All of these subjects seemed just a little bit over my head. I was an art major in college. I finally came across a story of national attention that I believed I could take an honest, unbiased look at, and report the unpolished facts to you — the curious reader.

There was an NFL referee lockout that got resolved the other day. In case you didn’t know, the National Football League and its referees could not come to a contract agreement for the entire preseason and first three games of the regular season. Replacement refs were used and many players, fans and pundits pointed out these officials were just not ready for the speed and complexity of professional football. They warned it was a disaster just waiting to happen, and it would eventually cost the NFL it’s integrity as a professional organization.

Many sources will point out the tipping point came last Monday night when the Green Bay Packers traveled to Seattle to take on the Seahawks on “Monday Night Football.” Long story short, the Packers ended up getting robbed of a victory by poor officiating from the replacement refs at the end of the game. For true fans of the great game of football, and especially the fans of the mighty Green Bay Packers and their storied franchise, this was nothing short of a travesty. On a more personal note, this is how I honestly felt about it:

Ha, ha, ha, hee, ha, ha, ha, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ha, ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, haw, haw, ha, ha, ha, he, he, he! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hee, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, tee-hee, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

(Slap my leg.)

Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha hee hee ha ha!! Ha, ha, ha! Hee, hee, hee, hee, haw, ha, ha, ha!!!! Ha, ha, (chortle, chortle,) ha, hee, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hee-hee, ha, ha, ha, hee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, ha, ha, ho, ho, ho, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, (snort,) ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, hee, hee, hee!

(Take a breath.)

Ha, ha, hee, ha, ha, giggle, giggle, ha, ha, ha, ha, hee, haw! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

(Double over and hold my ribs.)

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, guffaw, guffaw, ha, ha! Hee, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, tee-hee, tee-hee, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

(Pass out from lack of oxygen with an ear-to-ear smile on my face.)

Go Bears!

You can contact Wallace at gwallace@bcrnews.com. You can follow him on his blog at http://gregwallaceink.blogspot.com.

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