I’m not sure why I’m wasting my time writing this column. If you can believe anything that the ancient Mayan civilization says, the world will be nothing but cosmic dust by the time that you would be able to read it. Do you realize the implications of what this means? I don’t have to run this through spell-check. Who says that apocalypses are all bad?

I have a suspicion that those crazy Mayans and their doomsday predictions are causing all of the inaction on the whole “fiscal cliff” thing. I picture President Obama and Speaker of the House John Boehner sitting in a closed-door meeting inside the Oval Office, probably watching Sports Center, drinking beer, eating a bowl of mixed nuts and chatting about this “fiscal cliff” that the United States is rapidly approaching. I see the conversation going something like this:

President Obama: “Hey John, want a peanut?”