Resolutions are fine and good, I guess, but as so many know, they seem to slip and slide into the haze as the days pass and other more important things rise to the surface to grab our attention.
Such as resentments. Oh, those great inventions of the mind and heart! We can invent hundreds of them, and as we age, resentments can get longer, deeper and placed on more people and events.
Just think of the folks we can resent. People have hurt our feelings and cheated us. People have stolen valued possessions, our hearts and then left us ... and sometimes they have even stolen our loved one. This is reason to hold terrible grudges and think awful thoughts about somebody for years and years.
We also have opportunities that were overlooked, or we regret not taking a risk and can blame ourselves or others for failures for years. You can fill in your own blanks.
This is not funny for anybody. This is a condition that plagues us all. We have justification for a lot of resentments. We have been hurt, cheated in some way, or had something go badly and seemingly no way to change it. We can hold on to these thoughts and not make any progress about it.
Think about this: Have any of those bad feelings changed things for you? Have the hours spent mentally fussing with it changed the past in any way? Probably not, nor will it in the future.
Think about a time you really were spending all your energy and time, perhaps even crying or cursing about the person who has hurt you so badly. Now, think what they are doing at this moment. Are they feeling badly, or are they working, playing with their kids, or eating a nice dinner?
Let it go! Don’t harm yourself anymore. We need to clean up our thoughts and urgings and wish those folk well in their lives! Life should be full of kind thoughts and doing good things. It’s such a waste of time and energy.
Resentments can actually make us sick — physically and mentally. Let them go! Take a deep breath and exhale them into the universe where they can be dispersed with no harm done.
Forgive yourself for the dumb things you didn’t do or the chances you didn’t take. Focus on the good and smart things you have done. Celebrate just living.
Forgive folks for the dumb or mean things they have done to you or yours.
Correct any harm you have done right now. Start 2013 with a light heart ... and don’t forget to be kind.
Nedda Simon of rural Princeton can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.