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The weather — it can drive you nuts!

Do you have something that drives you crazy and you can’t do anything about it? I think we all have something, but for my husband, it is the weather.

Many people know my husband, and they would say that he is a great guy ... and, by the way, he is a great guy. Few would say there is anything that drives him crazy; that’s how easy-going he is. But for him, the weather is the thing that drives him absolutely NUTS!

Every season of the year has its attributes that cause him to react. Let’s start with the spring. Spring ... the time of awakening and renewal. But there are parts of spring that cause my spouse, well, to go wacko. The first of those is the wind. He hates the wind. The wind, according to him, is always blowing in the spring. I quote, “It blows 40 mph every day; I hate the wind.”

The second of those things is rain; he really hates rain. Over a recent holiday weekend, when it pretty much rained every day, he was going to get a new passport. I asked him why. I was told it didn’t rain in the Sahara Desert, and that he was moving there. That is his newest destination to avoid the rain.

There have been several others. He was going to move to Arizona, but then he discovered that the wind blows frequently in Arizona, so that destination was ruled out. When he mentioned wanting a new passport, I was thinking something entirely different than the Sahara Desert — I thought Bermuda or some other tropical paradise would be a great destination. I was told that it rained too much in those types of places. Drat — I saw myself with a little umbrella drink in hand, sitting with my toes in the sand, writing a new column for the BCR. One can always dream!

As we move into summer, it is supposed to be hot! If we have one of those summers, like we have had a few times in the past, when the thermometer does not climb as high as my husband thinks it should, then he is moving to some unknown place that is hotter, and of course, drier. For a few years, he was going to Death Valley. I don’t know if there actually is a place called Death Valley, but that was my husband’s destination when the weather was not as warm as he thought it should be. My vision of the unknown Death Valley is that it would be full of rattlesnakes and other not very pleasant creatures. I am not a fan of snakes. I assume there is warm sand there, but not exactly “the beach.”

As the days get shorter and summer winds down, we look toward fall. Fall is, according to my husband, supposed to last until at least November. That means we are supposed to have those golden days of autumn every day until the beginning of November. You know what I am talking about — those golden fall days when the temperature drops to about 50 at night, but the sun every day warms the air to that glorious 70-degree mark. Those days that bring the wonderful fall colors, but of course, the wind is not supposed to blow, so that beautiful leaves just stay on the trees for all of us to enjoy.

When Mother Nature does not cooperate by bringing those blissful fall days, my husband believes we are going directly from summer to winter, no fall, no glorious days, no 70 degrees, no, no, no. He doesn’t plan on moving during the fall, but he still wants those golden days he dreams of.

Lastly, we get winter. Surprisingly, winter seems to be the least offensive of the seasons. I guess we are all, including my husband, when living in Central Illinois programmed for crummy weather in the winter. He doesn’t seem to mind the snow or the ice or even the winter wind. His only requirement is that the winter season needs to end by the beginning of March. But that, of course, if winter doesn’t end as it should on time, then it is too cold for spring. So you see, the season isn’t winter — it is the beginning of spring that is all wrong.

My husband, as I said, is a great guy. He knows everyone, and everyone knows him.  He is friendly, fun and caring. He worked hard for many years, retired to babysit our first grandchild, and takes care of me and many things around our house. His obsession with the weather — it entertains me. Too bad there is nothing that can be done about it — I would love to have every day sunny, wind free, and 80 degrees. Just the right weather to play golf, you know!

Nita Wyatt of Wyanet can be reached at golfingfor2@ymail.com.

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