Hey everyone, I’m back in the States once again. Not going to lie to you all; it’s weird being back. I can understand everyone’s conversations around me because they’re speaking English, rather than Spanish. My natural instinct now is to throw away toilet paper, rather than flush it down the toilet. I catch myself saying little phrases of Spanish to my family; and then they give me that face of confusion, and I realize they don’t understand me. I find myself thinking of the babies’ schedules and what they would be doing right now.
For instance right now as I’m typing this, all the babies’ are sleeping, and the staff is gathering in the play pen for staff devotion time. It’s strange for my schedule not to revolve around what the babies’ schedules are. It’s so hard being away and not being involved with those precious little lives anymore. My heart broke in a million pieces when I had to say good-bye to them. It’s still breaking even now. I miss the babies, the other interns and all of the staff at Grace Babies Home.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being home. I love spending time with my family. Not so much a fan of the humidity, but hey, that’s Illinois summers for you. Little Tiskilwa, Illinois will always have a place in my heart. It’s where I grew up, where a lot of my memories are, where my family and church family are. The people here have seen me grow from a little girl to an awkward junior-higher to the young woman who I am today. They have been so supportive of where ever God leads me and have always been such an encouragement to me to no matter the situation. I love the people here so much.
But then there is my Michigan family. All of the people I have meet because of going to Cornerstone. While I haven’t known these people for very long compared to the people from back home, they all hold a special place in my heart. They have helped me grow in so many ways I can’t even begin to express how thankful I am for all of them. The friends I have made there are going to be friends I have for a life time. We have laughed together, studied together, done crazy things together, cried together, studied some more, and prayed together. Because of them I have grown as a person and in my faith. I’m so excited to move back to Michigan and get to see everyone there. It’s crazy to think that it’s my last year of school forever.
They say home is where your heart is. Well what are you supposed to do when your heart is in three different places? Yesterday I was having some quiet time, just crying out to the Lord about all of my different emotions that I’m going through and then I came across this verse.
“I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.” -Isaiah 46:4b
God has my back, even though I am going through so many different emotions being back. He knows me, He knows better than anyone else. Even better than I know myself. He put these passions in my heart. He knew I would go to Mexico before I was even born. He knew the struggles I would be going through when I came back. He knew because He made me.
So through this transition time that I’m going through right now, He’s going to carry me through every step. He will sustain me when all I feel like doing is curling up in ball and crying. He is my strength. He is my God. How incredible is He!?
So even though it’s rough right now and with every little fiber in me all I want to do is hop on a plane and go back to Mexico right now, God has something else planned. And who knows ... maybe someday He will call me back to Mexico (I really, really, really hope He does). But for now I need to be here. Even though it hurts not being at GBH, This is where I need to be now. And He’s going to lead me through every little step, and I just need to remember that.
Tiskilwa resident Hanna Ganther had worked as an intern this summer in Mexico during her summer break from college. She can be reached at email@example.com.