Defeating the enemies within
I always thought overcoming a fear was like unlocking a level in a video game. Once you passed this level, you would never have to return to fight off the same enemies within you and around you. And you would no longer find yourself stuck searching for a magical sword that destroyed all of your insecurities and worries. Those days would be over because right now you have been brave. Today will be the start of what you always wanted your life to be. No more fears, no more struggles. And when I realized I had this idea, I asked myself why I wanted to believe this could be true. And to be honest, this is where my hypothesis falls apart.
I want to trust that being confident and brave is a one-time struggle. Going backwards and struggling with the same fears should not be an option. If I learned how to maneuver through those obstacles before, I want to believe I should never have to be stuck in the same ruts again. I should not have to face my fear again. Those days should be over. I should feel better. I should know better now.
One of my biggest fears is taking on a project without a guarantee that things will work out. I get scared thinking of wasting time and effort on a failed project. And that fear of failure comes from another fear that people would then see me as a failure. So then I get too scared to start any project.
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